My Moment of Truth
My life has been a series of breadcrumbs, constantly leading me toward my goals. There are rarely bold signs, but usually little morsels tugging and guiding along the way.
When I was 16, I wanted to learn more about pregnancy to help a friend who thought she may have been pregnant. Worried that news of me checking out a book on pregnancy would reach my mother, I found the autobiography of Penny Armstrong, A Midwife's Story. Although I had never heard of a midwife, I knew then my life would be spent serving women.
In nursing school, my ethics discussion was on the use of episiotomy. My class had never seen a birth without intentional harm and while my class was 'grossed out' by my slow motion presentation of a hands and knees birth over an intact perineum, I clearly recognized the beauty of birth.
My own births were guiding lights along the path, while caring for my children created wrinkles, prolonging the time it took to reach my goal. My oldest, finally conceived after years of trying arrived by induction and traumatic forcep delivery, my frightening middle of the night cesarean for preterm rupture of membranes with breech fetus. My political, physical and emotional renewal working through my first vaginal birth after cesarean, at home, in water - TRIUMPH! Followed by the 'butter' home waterbirth of my 'shocker pregnancy' baby.
My dear midwife friend that helped me 'cut my teeth' on homebirth - seeing a stark contrast to the hospital management I'd seen as a nurse for years. Frontier School of Midwifery and Family Nursing introduced me to Mother Mary, showing me that my passion was normal and necessary to help me pave the road ahead. My midwifery preceptor, as opposite from me as anyone I could ever be, yet a soul mate who helped re-shape my life by helping break through the preconceptions my sheltered upbringing had created. My first struggling year in practice, where I fought (and often lost) supporting women with a midwifery model of care.
Each moment along the way has been an experience to help shape me into the midwife the clients I care for will need. I love being a midwife and every women deserves to be cared for by someone who loves living the way they were created to serve.