Midwife Connection

by Cassie Moore, ACNM writer and editor

I love my job. It’s interesting, educational, fulfilling, and my boss is really understanding when my toddler son gets sick—which he often does! But my commute is a huge time sink. I had resigned myself to this fact, until a friend of mine, who also has a young baby and a wonderful but demanding job, did something a little out of the ordinary: she and her husband decided they’d rent out their home for a year and move into a townhouse located right across the street from her office. This change will enable my friend to see her baby more often, to hire a nanny so there’s no drop off/pickup daycare hassle, to walk to work and avoid all the commuting headaches, and to enjoy the shopping, restaurants, and cultural attractions around her office.

This is an option I never would have thought of, and it wouldn’t work for everyone, but it’s going to allow my friend to have the family and work life she wants and needs. And it’s making me consider what I can do about my commuting conundrum.

My mother is another person who made her circumstances work for her. She couldn’t find a job she liked in the little Tennessee mountain town she lives in with my stepdad, so she found a job she loved across the state border in North Carolina, 90 miles away. Now she lives part-time in Tennessee and part-time in North Carolina, and she’s very happy with the situation. It’s unconventional but it works for her.

I think it’s really easy for anyone who works to feel trapped and get caught up in thinking “I wish I had another job that was closer to my house/paid me more money/gave me more time off/offered a more flexible schedule.” And sometimes resigning from a job or changing jobs is the right answer. But sometimes, maybe a little creative thinking is in order. Is it a drastic step to move your whole household so it’s closer to your job? Some might say yes. But what if that step keeps you from getting stressed out and eventually burnt out, or keeps you from fighting with your spouse, or gives you more hours per day with your children? Aren’t those worth the temporary hassle of moving and finding renters?

I admire my friend and my mom because they both made plans and took action to address their problems—they didn’t just sit around wishing things were different. And, in making the plans and taking the action, they acknowledged to themselves and to their families that their happiness and time is important. They stood up for themselves.

There’s been a recent discussion about schedules on our Clinical-Manage eMidwife Discussion Group, where midwives are offering each other their real-world solutions for scheduling on-call times, office hours, etc. Our eMidwife Discussion Groups are a great way to share problems and find support and answers from your fellow midwives—sign up if you haven’t already! See them here.

What can you do at your job or in your family life to get what you want? How have you stood up for yourself?

Image: Working at home daddy samwebster via Flickr. Love his Homer Simpson mug!